INTRODUCTION
However, as we know, Adam and Eve were led into sin and consequently
began to feel ashamed of things about which they should not have
been ashamed, and to feel unashamed of things about which they
should have been ashamed. They were deceived into exchanging
the glory of God for something else, something that made them
fearful and ashamed.
In what ways have we exchanged the glory of what God intended
us to be for something that has actually made us feel ashamed,
for beliefs and ideas that have made us feel afraid, humiliated,
inferior, inadequate, insignificant, unworthy or dirty ever since?
Things that we really did not need to feel ashamed about at all?
MANHOOD
1Cor 11:7 says that man is created in the image and glory of God,
yet how many men have rejected aspects of manhood and, deep down,
feel uncomfortable, or even ashamed, about manhood? Why is there
a discrepancy between the glory of being a man (and the glory
of being a woman) and what we really experience?
This world has defiled the image of what men and women should
be by enticing us to make counterfeit images (Rev 13:14). Men
are portrayed as objects of stupidity and ridicule, as seen in
many commercials on TV, while women, via the Beauty Myth, are
portrayed as objects of lust. What effects does this have on
us? How does it make a woman feel when she experiences pressure
to make herself into an object of lust, of desire? Dirty? Inadequate?
How does it make men feel when our masculinity is ridiculed,
humiliated or even portrayed as evil? Castrated?
Do we have feelings of shame about masculinity and femininity
that we don't even recognise?
EXCHANGING GLORY FOR A GRAVEN IMAGE
Let's consider the second commandment in the light of these thoughts:
LISTENING TO THE WRONG PEOPLE
Our lovers, our nurturers, our providers, teach us what a man
should be, what a woman should be, what a friend should be, what
a Christian should be. In families you often see that the children
treat the mother the way the husband treats her, and the children
treat the father the way the wife treats him. Therefore we learn
what we should respect and what we should despise. And so we
build images of manhood and womanhood. When these images are
faulty, as they so often are, they pass onto us the shortcomings,
the weaknesses, the sins of our parents and perpetuate the tragedies
of the past into the future, bringing more pain, shame and disgrace
upon us.
We are in great need of wisdom to know how to protect our spirits
(Ps 17:6-7; 31:19-20; 32:7; 41:1-2). If we cannot protect ourselves,
how can we protect others? The true place of safety is God (Pr
14:27; 18:10). But what does it mean to take refuge in God?
How does God provide protection for our spirits?
THE EFFECTS OF SHAME
So if we lack these qualities, then perhaps there is a graven
image that is weakening us.
EXAMINING OUR IMAGES
To be free from our images that have caused us shame we must be
willing to go back and consider why we have adopted the images
of manhood and womanhood that we have. May God's grace help us
to uncover these shame-producing images.
Man was created with an incredible blessing: he was made in the
image of God. And through the image of God, man is also given
some of God's glory (Rom 3:23; 5:2; 1Cor 11:7).
I would like to approach this subject with a focus on our ideas
of manhood.
Speaking from things I have learned about myself, about others
around me, and through my reading on the subject, it seems that
many men suffer from or have adopted behavioural strategies of
passivity and defencelessness. It is almost as though we men,
because of how we have been portrayed, have become afraid of ourselves:
So it seems to me that many men have been led to reject certain
aspects of manhood and masculinity. We have become ashamed of
different attributes of men, aspects that we should not be ashamed
of, and we have been led into accepting, in an unbalanced manner,
other ways of thinking and feeling that have caused us problems.
The New Age man is promoted as being more open, more vulnerable,
more sensitive and sincerer than his fathers. Yet has this image
helped or hindered men?
If so, what causes these deep feelings of shame, and how do we
come to recognise them for what they are?
I want to consider some quite simple principles, but I wonder
how deep our insight is as to how they really apply to us?
Psa 106:20 Thus they changed their glory into the image
of an ox that eats grass.
Israel's problems began when the people fashioned a false image
of their God.
Jer 2:11 Has a nation changed its
gods, which are not gods? But My people have changed their Glory
for what does not profit.
Israel exchanged something that was magnificent, for something
that is utterly useless. Could we in ignorance have done the
same?
Rom 1:22-23 Professing to be wise, they became fools,
and changed the glory of the incorruptible God into an image made
like corruptible man; and birds and four-footed animals and creeping
things.
We'll see as we progress that at the core of this problem of shame
is the way we make images in our minds. Our minds naturally make
images-that is not wrong. It is the ways in which we go about
establishing those images that create so many problems for us.
Graven images of manhood and womanhood are images that we make,
to which we give our approval, that we obey, based primarily on
the examples that we see around us. They are the pictures that
we build in our minds of what we give our approval to: our picture
of manhood, our picture of womanhood, our picture of a Christian.
Ex 20:4-6 "You shall not make for yourself a carved
image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or
that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the
earth; 5 you shall not bow down to them nor serve them. For I,
the LORD your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of
the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generations
of those who hate Me, 6 but showing mercy to thousands, to those
who love Me and keep My commandments."
Notice that there is a contrast made between those who, in making
graven images, receive the sins of their fathers upon them, and
those who love God and keep his commandments and who consequently
receive the grace of God-ie., between those who make an image
(in our current focus, of what a man should be) according to the
likeness that they see around them, to which they give their approval
(i.e. bow down to), and those who seek what is approved of in
the Word of God.
Deu 4:15-16 "Take careful heed to yourselves, for
you saw no form when the LORD spoke to you at Horeb out of the
midst of the fire, 16 lest you act corruptly and make for yourselves
a carved image in the form of any figure: the likeness of male
or female."
Do you believe that you have an image in your mind of what a man
or woman should be? If so, how did you make that image? On what
people around you did you fashion that image? What has been the
effect of that image on you? Has it brought you honour or shame?
Just as Eve listened to Satan, so too for us, shame comes from
disregarding the law of God-whether it be deliberate or in ignorance-and
through listening to the wrong people (Gen 3:13,17; Hos 7:8-9;
1Cor 15:33; 2Cor 11:3). Does this show our weakness in that we
listen to people who treat us nicely, rather than to those who
are honest (Rom 16:18; Ezk 13:10)? Let us turn to Isaiah 30 and
consider some passages of Scripture that warned Israel about listening
to the wrong people.
Isa 30:1-5 "Woe to the rebellious children,"
says the LORD, "who carry out a plan, but not mine; and who
make a league, but not of my spirit, that they may add sin to
sin; 2 who set out to go down to Egypt, without asking for my
counsel, to take refuge in the protection of Pharaoh, and to seek
shelter in the shadow of Egypt! [We know that Egypt is symbolic
of the world in which we live]. 3 Therefore shall the protection
of Pharaoh turn to your shame, and the shelter in the shadow of
Egypt to your humiliation [Do we recognise whether the ideas of
masculinity or femininity under which we seek protection actually
cause us shame?]. 4 For though his officials are at Zoan and his
envoys reach Hanes, 5 every one comes to shame through a people
that cannot profit them, that brings neither help nor profit,
but shame and disgrace [Have your ideas about masculinity and
femininity been poisoned by influential people around you, to
your shame?]"
BELIEVING LIES
Hos 4:4-13 Yet let no one contend, and let none accuse,
for with you is my contention, O priest. 5 You shall stumble by
day, the prophet also shall stumble with you by night; and I will
destroy your mother. 6 My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge;
because you have rejected knowledge, I reject you from being a
priest to me. And since you have forgotten the law of your God,
I also will forget your children [Here is an example specifically
directed at the religious organisation of the people of God.
People are devastated because of the false teaching of influential
people]. 7 The more they increased, the more they sinned against
me; I will change their glory into shame [Some people gloried
in things of which they should have been ashamed]. 8 They feed
on the sin of my people; they are greedy for their iniquity [Then
there are people who benefit by keeping others in sin or feeling
ashamed, guilty, unclean about things that they should not be
ashamed about]. 9 And it shall be like people, like priest; I
will punish them for their ways, and requite them for their deeds
[we are all responsible for what we have taken to heart]. 10 They
shall eat, but not be satisfied; they shall play the harlot, but
not multiply; because they have forsaken the LORD to cherish harlotry.
11 Wine and new wine take away the understanding. 12 My people
inquire of a thing of wood, and their staff gives them oracles
[a turning to graven images]. For a spirit of harlotry has led
them astray, and they have left their God to play the harlot.
13 They sacrifice on the tops of the mountains, and make offerings
upon the hills, under oak, poplar, and terebinth, because their
shade is good [We seek comfort and protection under the shade
of those who are influential in our lives-the corporate umbrella,
the over-protective parent, important friends]. Therefore your
daughters play the harlot, and your brides commit adultery.
Shame starts by making a wrong choice of whom to listen to (Gen
2:25; 3:10). However, those who are willing to face up to the
problems caused by these mistakes do have hope, as Jeremiah tells
us.
Jer 31:17-20 There is hope for your future, says the LORD,
and your children shall come back to their own country. 18 I have
heard Ephraim bemoaning, 'Thou hast chastened me, and I was chastened,
like an untrained calf; bring me back that I may be restored,
for thou art the LORD my God. 19 For after I had turned away I
repented; and after I was instructed, I smote upon my thigh; I
was ashamed, and I was confounded, because I bore the disgrace
of my youth [How much are these images of manhood and womanhood
formed early in our youth? How well or how badly have these images
served us since they were formed? Are we aware of the effects
they have on us?].' 20 Is Ephraim my dear
son? Is he my darling child? For as often as I speak against him,
I do remember him still. Therefore my heart yearns for him; I
will surely have mercy on him, says the LORD.
As Jeremiah puts it, shame is inevitable if we reject God's law:
Jer 12:13 "They have sown wheat and have reaped thorns,
they have tired themselves out but profit nothing. They shall
be ashamed of their harvests because of the fierce anger of the
LORD."
The thought that I find most upsetting about all this is that
these feelings of shame and inferiority from which many have suffered
are caused in large measure because we believed lies about aspects
of men. We suffer shame and feelings of inferiority, feelings
of dirtiness, about being men and women because we have believed
lies. We are deceived into exchanging glory into shame, just
like Adam and Eve.
Psa 4:2 O men, how long shall my honor suffer shame? How
long will you love vain words, and seek after lies? Selah (Ps
4:2; Pr 14:5; Isa 28:15; 44:20; 57:3-13; Jer 13:25; 28:15; Jer
29:31).
SEDUCED BY OUR LOVERS
Isa 42:17
They shall be turned back and utterly put to shame, who trust
in graven images, who say to molten images, "You are our
gods."
Why do we believe lies? Why do we love vain, empty, useless words?
Let's turn to Isaiah 57. Here we read of a group of people called
"sons of the sorceress". I don't want to address them
in particular but I would like to draw out what is revealed about
the weakness in man of seeking affection. It shows how our longing
for affection, for acceptance, for protection-that is, for lovers-so
often leads to our downfall.
Isa 57:7-13 Upon a high and lofty mountain you have set
your bed, and there you went up to offer sacrifice. 8 Behind the
door and the doorpost you have set up your symbol [or your remembrance];
for, deserting me, you have uncovered your bed, you have gone
up to it, you have made it wide [In your longings, you have made
yourself into this pathetic figure, wearing your heart on your
sleeve, open, vulnerable, longing for lovers]; and you have made
a bargain for yourself with them, you have loved their bed, you
have looked on nakedness [Your openness, your vulnerability, your
exposing yourself to gain affections has been pleasant. It is
a nice feeling to be seduced]. You journeyed to Molech with oil
and multiplied your perfumes; you sent your envoys far off, and
sent down even to Sheol. 10 You were wearied with the length
of your way, but you did not say, "It is hopeless";
you found new life for your strength, and so you were not faint
[Perhaps strengthened by the 'sweet nothings' whispered in our
ears by our lovers, by family or friends who have a vested interest
in keeping us as we are]. 11 Whom did you dread and fear, so that
you lied, and did not remember me, did not give me a thought?
Have I not held my peace, even for a long time, and so you do
not fear me? 12 I will tell of your righteousness and your doings,
but they will not help you [What you think is manly, or womanly,
or Christian, will do you no good]. 13 When you cry out, let your
collection of idols deliver you! [when you are in trouble, let
your image of manhood guide you and see where it leads you!] The
wind will carry them off, a breath will take them away [in total
confusion]. But he who takes refuge in me shall possess the land,
and shall inherit my holy mountain. (Jer 4:30; 5:7-8; 22:22; Ezk
23:11-21; Hos 2:5; 7:11-14).
One of the sobering things I am starting to recognise about the
nature of deception is that it is rather pleasant. It is nice
to be courted. We like being seduced. It is a pleasant feeling.
Jer 2:23-25 "How can you say, 'I am not polluted,
I have not gone after the Baals'? See your way in the valley;
know what you have done: you are a swift dromedary [camel] breaking
loose in her ways, 24 a wild donkey used to the wilderness, that
sniffs at the wind in her desire; in her time of mating, who can
turn her away? All those who seek her will not weary themselves;
in her month they will find her. 25 Withhold your foot from being
unshod, and your throat from thirst. But you said, 'There is no
hope. No! For I have loved aliens, and after them I will go ["these
people care for me, they like me, they look after me. I will
continue to look to them for affection and love."] 33 Why
do you beautify your way to seek love? Therefore you have also
taught the wicked women your ways. 34 Also on your skirts is found
the blood of the lives of the poor innocents. I have not found
it by secret search, but plainly on all these things. 35 Yet you
say, 'Because I am innocent, surely His anger shall turn from
me.' Behold, I will plead My case against you, because you say,
'I have not sinned.' 36 Why do you gad about so much to change
your way? Also you shall be ashamed of Egypt as you were ashamed
of Assyria. 37 Indeed you will go forth from him with your hands
on your head; for the LORD has rejected your trusted allies, and
you will not prosper by them [your lovers will not allow you to
do well].
DEFENCELESS
When we lay ourselves open, desperate and vulnerable, to the affections
of others, we leave ourselves defenceless. These days many seem
to lack the wisdom to defend themselves-to defend and protect
their spirits and emotions from false accusations, from those
who want them to conform to their own desires (in families and
within groups). So we are emotionally trampled all over.
Prov 24:3-6 Through wisdom a house is built, and by understanding
it is established [through wisdom our spirits are strengthened
and established]; 4 by knowledge the rooms are filled with all
precious and pleasant riches. 5 A wise man is strong, yes, a man
of knowledge increases strength; 6 for by wise counsel you will
wage your own war, and in a multitude of counsellors there is
safety.
So, loving and growing in wisdom (Eccl 9:16-18), or (as the second
commandment says) loving God and keeping his commandments, or
as we have been told many times, learning to answer for ourselves
based on the truth, is what will develop us in the glory of being
men and women created in God's image-not listening to the sweet
nothings of our lovers!
Eccl 7:19 Wisdom strengthens the wise more than ten rulers
of the city.
Let's start to wind up by considering the effects of shame.
Firstly, shame is often linked with confusion (2Kg 19:26; Ps 35:26;
40:14; 70:2; Isa 45:16; 61:7; Jer 20:11; Jas 3:16).
Isa 45:16 They shall be ashamed and also disgraced, all
of them; they shall go in confusion together, who are makers of
idols [those who rely on their own gods will be confused and ashamed].
17 But Israel [those who rely on the true God] shall be saved
by the LORD with an everlasting salvation; you shall not be ashamed
or disgraced forever and ever.
Another symptom of shame is weakness or fear..
Isa 29:22 Therefore thus says the LORD, who redeemed Abraham,
concerning the house of Jacob: "Jacob shall not now be ashamed,
nor shall his face now grow pale."
Shame is caused by things that are hidden, so we may not always
be aware that the cause of our anxieties or emotional instability
is actually a sense of shame. Therefore, to overcome shame, it
takes effort to bring hidden things out into the open (Eph 5:7-15).
2 Cor 4:2
But we have renounced the hidden things of shame, not walking
in craftiness nor handling the word of God deceitfully, but by
manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man's
conscience in the sight of God.
Shame is contrasted with strength of will and confidence.
Isa 50:7-9 "For the Lord GOD will help Me; therefore
I will not be disgraced; therefore I have set My face like a flint,
and I know that I will not be ashamed. 8 He is near who justifies
Me; who will contend with Me? Let us stand together. Who is My
adversary? Let him come near Me. 9 Surely the Lord GOD will help
Me; who is he who will condemn Me? Indeed they will all grow old
like a garment; the moth will eat them up.
It is contrasted with true rejoicing and blessing.
Isa 65:13-16 Therefore thus says the Lord GOD: "Behold,
My servants shall eat, but you shall be hungry; behold, My servants
shall drink, but you shall be thirsty; behold, My servants shall
rejoice, but you shall be ashamed; 14 Behold, My servants shall
sing for joy of heart, but you shall cry for sorrow of heart,
and wail for grief of spirit. 15 You shall leave your name as
a curse to My chosen; for the Lord GOD will slay you, and call
His servants by another name; 16 so that he who blesses himself
in the earth shall bless himself in the God of truth; and he who
swears in the earth shall swear by the God of truth; because the
former troubles are forgotten, and because they are hidden from
My eyes. (Ps 109:28; Isa 66:5)
It is contrasted with righteousness and strength:
Isa 45:24 He shall say, 'Surely in the LORD I have righteousness
and strength. To Him men shall come, and all shall be ashamed
who are incensed against Him.
And with keeping the commandments of God (Ps 119:5-6,31,46,80)
and with wisdom (Jer 8:9).
So my message today has been quite simple. We create images of
masculinity and femininity based on the input of the people around
us, especially those whose affections we crave. But often those
images can lead us into shame or cause us to feel dirty about
being men and women, and to deny or reject aspects of our spirits
that could actually enrich our lives if allowed the freedom to
do so.
Eph 5:6-14 Let no one deceive you with empty words, for
because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of
disobedience. 7 Therefore do not be partakers with them. 8 For
you were once darkness [you were once motivated by things that
were hidden in your hearts], but now you are light in the Lord.
Walk as children of light 9 (for the fruit of the Spirit is in
all goodness, righteousness, and truth), 10 finding out what is
acceptable to the Lord. 11 And have no fellowship with the unfruitful
works of darkness, but rather expose them [we must not be afraid
to examine these things]. 12 For it is shameful even to speak
of those things which are done by them in secret. 13 But all things
that are exposed are made manifest by the light, for whatever
makes manifest is light. 14 Therefore He says: "Awake, you
who sleep, Arise from the dead, And Christ will give you light."