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recent posts from my blog 'chaff'
Posts tagged 'BonusWavePilot' are mine.
Sat, 31 Mar 2007 22:38:32 +1000
Long time no post, folks.
Chaff is moving to a new home!
Am currently in the process of shifting all the old posts over, and you may expect new hilarity soon to be forthcoming. Find us in future hither:
See you there!
OK, just click on your 'start' button...
Sun, 23 Jul 2006 00:05:00 +1000
Well, I'm gainfully employed again, doing the part time thing at a bookstore, though for a couple of weeks I was working for a tech-support call centre (and for a still shorter time I was doing both, which was altogether too much working).
While I didn't actually get any calls quite as classic as the ol' "my drink-holder broke off" thing, it was an education to be helping the general public with 'puter related stuff. (Actually, with "doing your taxes on your 'puter" stuff, to be precise.) First of all, it seems that nearly nobody knows what version of Windows they are running. Here's a helpful guide. Does it look like it's made of drool-proof semi-translucent plastic? That'll be XP. Is it an absolute steaming pile of shit? That's ME you got right there. Do something about it.
Some entertaining dialogue overheard from a co-worker in my 'quad' of workers;
"...ok, now press that button. ...What didn't disappear? ...It doesn't go anywhere, it's a BUTTON."
One final piece of advice. If you've called an IT helpdesk, and they're issuing you with instructions, DON'T JUST GO AHEAD AND CLICK SHIT AT RANDOM WHILE THEY'RE TRYING TO TELL YOU HOW TO FIX IT. Hearing the distinctive 'error sound' while instructing someone in a simple procedure which should be entirely without error messages is frustrating, and counter-productive. If you were so fucking clever, you wouldn't have needed to call them in the first place.
As much as I whinge, though, it actually wasn't a bad job, compared to some I've done, and I met some entertaining locals, as well. The bookstore gig is pretty mellow, too.
Anyway, that concludes this installment in the increasingly infrequent adventures of BWP. In other exciting news, chaff will soon be moving to another blog provider, since this one has started to threaten making us pay monies to continue
here, and frankly if I wanted to pay monies, I'd just pay for hosting and set up some bloggy action of my own with one of the lovely range of utterly free and reliable open-source blog setup things. Similar price, less arbitrary restrictions.
Posted by BonusWavePilot
Mon, 24 Apr 2006 02:20:00 +1000
OK, so there are certain items which, while useful, are essentially identical from one brand to the next, and thus need to go to amazing rhetorical lengths to try to gain the upper hand in terms of sales. Margarine, for example. Indeed, the sameness of margarine, and the need for impressive marketing based differentiation was used at one stage by a 'Job Network Provider' (AKA Dole Parole) to explain to a group of which I was part the neccessity of having a really good resume. (The unstated assumption being that we were, in fact, as indestinguishable as the aforementioned chemical goo).
Likewise with many personal grooming products; razors with 5 blades ('cause there might be a facial hair somewhere which will withstand the onslaught of a mere 4) and the topic of my rant; toothbrushes. Now, the physics of brushing one's teeth is, as I understand it, fairly straightforward. One uses a bristly device to scrape food fragments out of crevices in the teeth and gums, and to scrape off tartar, thus helping prevent cavities and the like.
Like margarine, I tend to suspect most 'advances' in the field are gimmicks to differentiate a product from the pack, and justify an inflated price. I saw an advertisement today for the most ludicrously gimmicky toothbrush yet. The Oral-B Triumph. The damn thing has a computer, and small LCD display built into it. It gives you 'useful' information in 13 languages; stuff like how long you've brushed your teeth for. You can set it to vibrate in various different ways, which apparently has some kind of benificial effect, and, if I may quote from their website; "...a professional timer [which] signals every 30 seconds to encourage thorough brushing of the four mouth quadrants..." (my emphasis).
The four mouth quadrants. The very existence of such a phrase surely signals the point of no return in the decadence of a society, and its accelerating decline. I am looking forward to my computerised toilet rolls which will guide me with digitised verbal cues to ensure appropriately balanced inter-arsal containment integrity.
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Posted by BonusWavePilot
Mon, 17 Apr 2006 00:10:34 +1000
Proliferal: - n; consumer appliance purchased for a legitimate purpose which leads to infinate upgrades. i.e. mobile phone -> polyphonic ringtones, rugged plastic cover, little flashy light things, headset, internal tooth-mobile etc.
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Posted by BonusWavePilot
Sun, 09 Apr 2006 10:47:49 +1000
My multi-talented sister wrote these two poems as study aids, mnemonic devices, for her vet science course (Paul, mentioned in the first poem, is one of her lecturers). They're under Scholastic Pedantry only because of this connection to academia. I sort of had to give the second one a title, because I don't think my sister entitled it. (And, if she'd like to get in touch with me, I can give it whatever proper title it should have: and give her a pseudonym as well!) Enjoy!
Veterinary Anatomical Terms
(A discussion in verse, of dubious literary merit.)
Dear Paul, I hope it shall not make you terse,
that I shall answer this in verse.
With Anatomy?s origins I shall start
from ?Temnein?- cut, and ?Ana?- apart,
within the science of anatomy
are many fields of speciality,
from embryology to neurology,
to funnier names as we shall see,
to fields such as splanchnology,
(a name that fills myself with glee),
but is the study of viscera, simply
To accurately make a description
requires the use of direction,
such as the median plane which carves,
the body into similar halves,
and parallel to the median plane,
we can describe paramedian planes.
A plane passing at right angles to
the body that it passes through
is described as a transverse plane,
while should you wish to look again,
at a plane that?s perpendicular to
the median and the transverse too,
the frontal plane?s the one for you!
In naming terms of anatomy
we refer to a learned committee,
which is by name the ICVGAN
and follows its cardinal rules seven:
1. Each anatomical concept should have, you?ll find
a single term for it defined,
(as in all things there are, its true
some exceptions, but we hope few)
2. On the official list, the name must be in Latin,
and though we know we must follow this pattern,
of Latin the official tongue, it will be
fine to use other languages locally,
3. Three is a rule easy to report,
terms shall be simple and shall be short
4. and easy for us to remember,
with instructive and descriptive value,
5. Structures closely related topographically
shall be named similarly
6. and if differentiating adjectives you shall use,
opposites shall least confuse,
7. and finally the seventh rule,
terms from proper names shan?t be used, aren?t cool
The official terms can all be found
in a fascinating book that?s bound
to be of interest in every area
the Nomina Anatomica Veterinaria
Cranial is towards the head
towards the tail ?Caudal?s said,
towards the back is dorsal
while to the belly ventral
and to the side lateral
and once you are upon the head,
towards the nose you?re ?Rostral? led,
and now a few that end with ?ial?,
away from the axis ?Abaxial?
towards the axis ?Axial?
towards the midline ?Medial?
Proximal is towards the trunk
away from there you?re Distal slunk
(I hope this slunk does not confuse
but rhyming wise I?m short of muse)
To turn face upwards ?Supinate?
and turn face down ?Pronate?
To describe the surface of a cone?
?Circumduct? is how it?s known
?Flex? away from 180 degrees,
?Extend? returns you there with ease,
To move away from the median plane,
we say ?Abduct? to make it plain,
while ?Adduct? takes us back again
If moving round an axis is a part?s fate
we say it is going to ?Rotate?
if drawing forward is the act,
then that we say is to ?Protract?
while pulling back is to ?Retract?
It is also important to know,
the regions of the body, so
we see the head is the ?Caput?
with Face and Cranium, but
if you?re looking for the neck,
the ?Collum? is what you?ll get
the ?Truncus? can for Trunk be said
within this region may be read
of back and pelvis, thorax too
and abdomen as well, its true
the tail we may describe as ?Cauda?
but what on earth would be a ?Membra??
why it would be a limb, in which
are manifold descriptive bits:
axilla, cubitus, manus too
here I?ll name but these few
and move along finally
to mention specific terminology
Directional terms sometimes may change!
In different regions, there?s a range
such as looking underneath the foot,
in forepaw there, ?Palmar? will suit,
but not in hindpaw where we say
?Plantar? is what?s down that way
Within the language of anatomy
are many other aspects but unfortunately
I have not time to discuss them here,
as this is an exam, I fear
and thus there isn?t time to list
the prefixes, suffixes I have missed
but I hope I?ve writ enough
of the most fundamental stuff
and thus this much will have to do
and so for now I say Adieu!
---
Staphs and Streps
Don?t fret that lesions look the same
When caused by staphs and streps
If telling them apart?s your aim
Just follow easy steps!!
Remember, though it may amaze-
These facts regarding catalase
While staphs are always pos?tive, you
Will see for streps, reverse is true
Oh evil staphs, virulent arrival!
How we curse your coagulase,
Damn your intracellular survival!
And your Capsule?s inedible ways!
How we loathe your techoic acid
Your sharp crystal urease
Exotoxins that are far from placid
So you hurt us for days after days!!!
Of the innocence of Alpha-haemolytic streps you find
Don?t be fooled in any instance!
Though their virulence may be mild, keep in mind
Their broad antibiotic resistance!
Conversely with Beta-haemolytic streps, we
Must not forget the deal,
That virulent, nasty as they may be,
Penicillin?s their Achilles heel!!
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- Posted by Rabbit Zero
Li Europan lingues es membres del sam familie. Lor separat existentie es un myth. Por scientie, musica, sport etc., li tot Europa usa li sam vocabularium. Li lingues differe solmen in li grammatica, li pronunciation e li plu commun vocabules. Omnicos directe al desirabilit‡ de un nov lingua franca: on refusa continuar payar custosi traductores. It solmen va esser necessi far uniform grammatica, pronunciation e plu sommun paroles.
This is the spot for thingies along the line of the ol' W3C logo, and suchlike.
It'll be ever so pretty, you just wait and see.