These songs have been selected from the collection of Paul "Flying Booger" Woodford and various other on-line Hash song books. Songs already in the Melbourne Howlers song book are not included here. Other on-line Hash song books don't have any links to the tunes. So here you are! If you don't know the tune, just click on the the link to hear it.
The links to the music have been inserted by me (John "Klingon" Perkins) as a result of searches for midi files. Some tunes have a preamble before they match the words of the song. Some Hash originals don't appear to have any midi file available.
Note: The Hash House Harriers typically use offensive language so if you are liable to be offended then do not read below.
Hint: with old browsers you may need to right click on
the tune and open in a new window to hear tune and see words at
he same time,.
CONTENTSALCOHOLIC'S ANTHEM
DAISY, DAISY
DINAH
END OF THE WORLD
GLORIOUS, VICTORIOUS (BEER, BEER, BEER)
HAS ANYBODY SEEN J. C.?
HASH HOUSE HARRIERS
HER LEFT TIT
HERE'S TO ________ (BASIC DOWN-DOWN SONG)
HERE'S TO BROTHER HASHER(S)
FUCK A DUCK
I LIKE COCK
I LIKE CUNT
I WANT A BEER
LONG AND THIN
LEAVER'S SONG
MONDAY IS A WANKING DAY
PUBIC HAIRS!
SEVEN OLD LADIES
SHE'LL BE PUFFIN' LIKE A STEAM TRAIN WHEN SHE CUMS
SHE'S A MOST IMMORAL LADY
THIS IS YOUR DOWN-DOWN SONG
WHEN I WAS A LITTLE GIRL
YOGI BEAR
END OF THE WORLD
Melody - Joy to the
World
Contributed by Derek Cashman
End of the world,
The bomb has come,
Let earth receive her due,
Let every single reprobate,
Evaporate, disintegrate,
And buildings crumble too,
All over me and you,
All over, all over,
Rush Limbaugh, too.
GLORIOUS, VICTORIOUS
(BEER, BEER, BEER)
Melody - Itself (Can't find any midi for this)
Beer, beer, beer, beer
Beer, beer, beer, beer
Drunk last night,
Drunk the night before,
Gonna get drunk tonight,
Like I've never been drunk before,
Cause when I'm drunk I'm as happy as can be,
Cause we're all part of the Hash House family.
Oh the Hash Family
Is the best family
To ever
Come over
From Old Germany.
There's the High Hash Drunks
There's the High Hash Drunks
There's the Low Hash Drunks
There's the Asian Drunks
And the other damn drunks.
CHORUS:
Singing glorius,
Victorious!
Hey!!!
One keg of beer for the four of us.
Singing Glory be to God that there are no more of us,
Cause one of us could drink it all alone
Damn near, pass the beer, to the rear, of the Hash House Harriers!
HASH HOUSE HARRIERS
Melody
- The Addams Family
Their drinking is compulsive and
Their running is convulsive,
They're morally repulsive,
The Hash House Harriers.
CHORUS:
Da da da da (snap fingers twice)
Da da da da (snap fingers twice)
Da da da da, da da da da, da da da da
Their flatulence is rude and
Their genitals protrude when
They're running in the nude in
The Hash House Harriers.
They're always shiggy tracking
From constantly bush-whacking,
Intelligence they're lacking,
The Hash House Harriers.
Da da da da, Down Down, etc . . .
HAS ANYBODY SEEN J. C.?
Melody
- Has Anybody Seen My Gal?
Five foot nine; He's divine,
Says He comes from Palestine,
Has anybody seen J. C.?
Well, if you run into a five foot Jew,
Covered with thorns,
Holes in His hands, spear in His side,
Man, that Cat's been crucified!
Five foot nine; He's divine;
Changes water into wine,
Hash anybody seen J. C.?
Well, if you run into a five foot Jew,
Covered with thorns,
Holes in His hands, spear in His side,
Man, that Cat's been crucified!
Well, He is camp, He is cool,
He will walk across your swimming pool,
Has anybody seen J. C.?
HER LEFT TIT
Melody - My Bonnie Lies
Over the Ocean
Her left tit hangs down to her belly,
Her right tit hangs down to her knee.
If her left tit did equal her right tit,
She'd get lots of weenie from me.
Drink it down, down, down . . .
HERE'S TO ________ (BASIC DOWN-DOWN SONG)
Melody - Itself
______
VERSION # 1
Here's to ,
He's true blue, (he's a blue)
He's a Hasher,
Through and through,
He's a pisspot, (he's an asshole)
So they say,
Tried to go to heaven, (he'll never get to heaven)
But he went the other way, (in a long, long way)
So drink it down, down, down . . .
______
VERSION # 2
Here's to ,
She's a damn fine gal,
Here's to ,
She's a damn fine gal,
So drink, chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug,
chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug,
Here's to ,
She's a horse's ass.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, etc . . .
HERE'S TO BROTHER HASHER(S)
Melody - Ach, Du Lieber
Augustin
Contributed by ZiPpy, Pike's Peak H4
Here's to brother (sister) hasher,
Bother hasher, brother hasher,
Here's to brother hasher,
May he chug-a-lug.
He's happy, he's jolly,
He's fucked up by golly,
Here's to brother hasher,
May he chug-a-lug.
So drink motherfucker,
Drink motherfucker,
Drink motherfucker,
Drink motherfucker,
Here's to brother hasher,
May he chug-a-lug.
THIS IS YOUR DOWN-DOWN SONG
Melody - Ta-Rah-Rah-Boom Te-Aay
Contributed by Nose Candy
This is your Down-Down song,
It isn't very long. . . .
FUCK A DUCK
Melody - Do, Re,
Mi
Fuck a duck,
A female duck,
Screw a baby kangaroo,
Finger bang an orangutan,
Let an elephant eat you,
FEEL the penis of an eel,
WHACK the asshole of a yak,
MASTURBATE with a gnu,
That will bring us back to
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck . . .
Repeat with motions, humming, silence, etc
I LIKE COCK
Melody - Three
Blind Mice
I like cock,
I like cock,
See how they rise,
See how they rise,
They fit so nicely and feel so grand,
They come in all sizes, all shapes and brands,
There's nothing finer than making them stand,
'Cause I like cock,
I like cock.
I LIKE CUNT
Melody - Three
Blind Mice
I like cunt,
I like cunt,
Ain't it cute,
Ain't it cute?
Up against railings I've often stood,
Fucking young ladies and doing them good,
It's so much better than pulling your pud,
'Cause I like cunt,
I like cunt.
LEAVER'S SONG
Melody - Annie's Song
Contributed by ZiPpy, Pike's Peak H4
CHORUS:
You're leaving Jakarta, you silly old farter,
Your best days are over, you're ready to go.
Your wrinkles are showing, your beer belly is growing,
Your semen's stopped flowing, you're all clapped out now.
You abandoned your wife, in favor of night life,
You screwed till the morning, then came back for more.
Even your maid was willing, to sample your drilling,
But now your bit's broken, they've shown you the door.
We marvel to witness, your standard of fitness,
You suffered no ailments, not even a cough.
But from self-abuse, and living so loose,
Your extremity's withered, and your balls have dropped off.
You came full of purpose, but now you are surplus,
You were full of ideas, you were at the forefront.
Now your skills are outdated, your job's automated,
You're now on the scrap heap, you stupid old cunt.
LONG AND THIN
Melody - Pop Goes the
Weasel
Contributed by ZiPpY
Long and thin goes too far in,
And doesn't pleases the ladies;
Short and thick will do the trick,
And bring out proper babies.
Oh our Mary tried it once,
Once is once too many;
Wasn't she a proper dunce?
Did it for a penny.
PUBIC HAIRS!
Melody
- Baby Face
Pubic hairs!
You've got the cutest little pubic hairs,
There's no one else on earth who can compare,
Pubic hairs!
Clitoris or vagina, nothing could be finer than those pubic hairs,
I'm in heaven when I'm in your underwear,
I didn't need a shove, to take a mouthful of,
Those pretty pubic hairs!
Leader: Today is Monday!
All: Today is Monday!
Leader: Monday is a wanking day! (wanking motion)
All: Monday is a wanking day! (wanking motion)
CHORUS:
Leader: Are we gonna have a good time?
All: You bet your ass we are!
All: (raise cups over heads and make one complete turn while humming)
Da da dut da da, da da dut da da
Leader: Today is Tuesday!
All: Today is Tuesday!
Leader: Tuesday is a finger day! (fingering motion)
All: Tuesday is a finger day! (fingering motion)
Leader: Monday is a wanking day! (wanking motion)
All: Monday is a wanking day! (wanking motion)
Chorus
(now that you've got the idea, here are the rest of the days)
Wednesday is a hmmmm day! (stick tongue between 2nd & 3rd fingers)
Thursday is a drinking day! (raise glass in salute)
Friday is a fucking day! (humping motions, cheering, happiness)
Saturday is a hashing day! (running motions, cheering, happiness)day
of rest
Sunday is a hashing day (low key, almost quiet)
(modify as needed for local hashing day, etc . . .)
DAISY, DAISY
Melody - Daisy, Daisy
Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer true,
Daisy, Daisy, wouldn't you like to screw?
I really must beg your pardon,
But I've got a ten-inch hard-on,
From beating my meat against the seat,
Of a bicycle built for two.
DINAH
Melody - Itself
(Take turns leading verses)
CHORUS:
Dinah, Dinah, show us your leg,
Show us your leg, show us your leg,
Dinah, Dinah, show us your leg,
A yard above your knee.
I wish I were the diamond ring,
On Dinah's dainty hand,
Then, every time she wiped her ass,
I'd see the promised LAND, LAND, LAND!
The rich girl rides a limousine,
The poor girl rides a truck,
But the only ride that Dinah has,
Is when she has a RIGHT GOOD FUCK!
The rich girl uses a sanitary towel,
The poor girl uses a sheet,
But Dinah uses nothing at all,
Leaves a trail along the STREET, STREET, STREET!
The rich girl wears a ring of gold,
The poor girl one of brass,
But the only ring that Dinah wears,
Is the one around her ASS, ASS, ASS!
The rich girl wears a brassiere,
The poor girl uses string,
But Dinah uses nothing at all,
She lets the bastards SWING, SWING, SWING!
The rich girl uses Vaseline,
The poor girl uses lard,
But Dinah uses axle grease,
Because her cunt's so HARD, HARD, HARD!
The rich girl works in factories,
The poor girl works in stores,
But Dinah works in a honky-tonk,
With forty other WHORES, WHORES, WHORES!
SEVEN OLD LADIES
Melody - Oh My, What
Can the Matter Be?
CHORUS:
Oh dear, what can the matter be?
Seven old ladies locked in the lavat'ry,
They were there from Sunday to Saturd'y,
Nobody knew they were there.
They said they were going to have tea with the Vicar,
They went in together, they thought it was quicker,
But the lavat'ry door was a bit of a sticker,
And the Vicar had tea all alone.
The first was the wife of a deacon in Dover,
And thought she was known as a bit of a rover,
She liked it so much she thought she'd stay over,
And nobody knew she was there.
The next old lady was old Mrs. Bickle,
She found herself in a desperate pickle,
Shut in a pay booth, she hadn't a nickel,
And nobody knew she was there.
The next was the Bishop of Chichester's daughter,
She went in to pass some superfluous water,
She pulled on the chain and the rising tide caught her,
And nobody knew she was there.
The next old lady was Abigale Humphrey,
Who settled inside to make herself comfy,
And then she found out she could not get her bum free,
And nobody knew she was there.
The next old lady was Elizabeth Spender,
Who was doing all right till a vagrant suspender,
Got all twisted up in her feminine gender,
And nobody knew she was there.
The last was a lady named Jennifer Trim,
She only sat down on a personal whim,
But she somehow got pinched 'twixt the cup and the brim,
And nobody knew she was there.
But another old lady was Mrs. McBligh,
Went in with a bottle of booze on the sly,
She jumped on the seat and fell in with a cry,
And nobody knew she was there.
SHE'LL
BE PUFFIN' LIKE A STEAM TRAIN WHEN SHE CUMS
Melody - She'll be coming
round the mountain
She'll be puffing like a steam train when she cums,
She'll be puffing like a steam train when she cums,
She'll be puffing like a steam train, puffing like a steam train,
She'll be puffing like a steam train when she cums.
CHORUS:
Singing God, I'm coming, don't stop now,
Singing God, I'm coming, don't stop now,
Singing God, I'm coming, God I'm coming,
God, I'm coming, don't stop now
OTHER VERSES:
She'll be panting like a bulldog when she cums
She'll be sucking like a Hoover when she cums
She'll be scratching like a tiger when she cums
She'll be biting like a vampire when she cums
She'll be screaming like a banshee when she cums
She'll be howling like a she-wolf when she cums
You'll be dogknotted for an hour when she cums
She'll nearly bite your cock off when she cums
She'll close her legs and crush your face when she cums
She'll be revving like a Harley when she cums
She'll be whooping like a monkey when she cums
Etc.
SHE'S A MOST IMMORAL LADY
Melody - John Brown's
Body
She wears her silk pajamas in the summer when it's hot,
She wears her woolen nightie in the winter when it's not,
But later in the springtime, and early in the fall,
She jumps between the lily-white sheets with nothing on at all.
CHORUS:
She's a most immoral lady,
She's a most immoral lady,
She's a most immoral lady,
As she lay between the lily-white sheets with nothing on at all.
Oh, Sir Jasper do not touch me,
Oh, Sir Jasper do not touch me,
Oh, Sir Jasper do not touch me,
As she lay between the lily-white sheets with nothing on at all.
Oh, Sir Jasper do not touch! (three times)
Oh, Sir Jasper do not! (three times)
Oh, Sir Jasper do! (three times)
Oh, Sir Jasper! (three times)
Oh, Sir! (three times)
Oh! (three times)
ALCOHOLIC'S ANTHEM
Melody - Men of Harlech
What's the use of drinking tea,
Indulging in sobriety,
And teetotal perversity?
It's healthier to booze.
What's the use of milk and water?
These are drinks that never oughter,
Be allowed in any quarter.
Come on, lose your blues,
Mix yourself a shandy,
Drown yourself in brandy,
Sherry sweet,
Or whisky neat,
Or any kind of liquor that is handy.
There's no blinking sense in drinking,
Anything that doesn't make you stinking,
There's no happiness like sinking,
Blotto to the floor.
Put an end to all frustration,
Drinking may be your salvation,
End it all in dissipation,
Rotten to the core.
Aberrations metabolic,
Ceilings that are hyperbolic,
There are for the alcoholic,
Lying on the floor.
Vodka for the arty,
Gin to make you hearty,
Lemonade was only made,
For drinking if your mother's at the party,
Steer clear of home-made beer,
And anything that isn't labeled clear,
There is nothing else to fear,
Bottom's up, my boys.
I WANT A BEER
Melody - I
Want a Girl Just Like the Girl That Married Dear Old Dad (long prelude)
I want a beer, just like the beer
That pickled dear old dad.
It was a beer, and the only beer that Daddy ever had.
A real old-fashioned beer with lots of foam;
It took six men to carry Daddy home,
Oh, I want a beer, just like the beer that wiped out my old man.
WHEN I WAS A LITTLE GIRL
Melody - Happy Wanderer
Contributed by ZiPpy, Pike's Peak H4
When I was a little girl, I had a little thing,
And if I tried, I could get, my little finger in.
Finger in, finger in, finger in,
Finger -i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i- finger in, finger in,
My little finger in!
I've grown into a woman now, my thing has lost its charm,
And I can get five fingers in, and half my fucking arm,
Fucking arm, fucking arm, fucking arm,
Fucking -a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a- fucking arm, fucking arm,
And half my fucking arm!
Now my age is ninety-two, and I'm half fucking dead,
Now I get both arms in and half my fucking head.
Fucking head, fucking head, fucking head,
Fucking -e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e- fucking head, fucking head,
And half my fucking head!
YOGI BEAR
Melody:
Camptown Races.
Yogi lives in Jellystone. Jelly, jelly.
Yogi lives in Jellystone, Yogi's a lucky bear.
Yogi's a lucky bear, Yogi's a lucky bear.
Yogi lives in Jellystone, Yogi's a lucky bear.
Yogi has a ladyfriend, Cindy, Cindy. Yogi has a ladyfriend, Yogi's a lucky bear.
Yogi's a lucky bear. Yogi's a lucky bear. Yogi has a ladyfriend, Yogi's a lucky bear.
Cindy likes it twice a day. Cindy, Cindy.
Cindy likes it twice a day, Yogi's a lucky bear...
Yogi has a little friend, Boo-Boo, Boo-Boo.
Yogi has a little friend, Yogi's a lucky bear...
Boo-Boo's only three feet tall, Boo-Boo, Boo-Boo.
Boo-Boo's only three feet tall, Yogi's a lucky bear...
Cindy likes menage-a-trois, Cindy, Cindy.
Cindy likes menage-a-trois, Boo-Boo's a lucky bear...
Boo-Boo has a twelve-inch cock, Boo-Boo, Boo-Boo... Cindy's a lucky bear...
Boo-Boo likes it up the butt, Boo-Boo, Boo-Boo... Yogi's a lucky bear...
Boo-Boo's HIV positive, dying, dying... Boo-Boo's a dying bear...
Yogi used a condom, lucky, lucky...Yogi's a lucky bear...
Cindy has an ugly snatch, grisly, grisly...Cindy's a grizzly bear...
Cindy likes it in the fridge (is a frigid bitch), Cindy, Cindy...Cindy's a polar bear...
Yogi uses Afro-Sheen, black, black...Yogi's a black bear...
Boo-Boo never wipes his ass, brown, brown....Boo-Boo's a brown bear...
Yogi has a cheesy dick, Camem, Camem...Camem Camembert...
Boo-Boo always cums in chunks. Gummy, gummy...Boo-Boo's a gummy bear.
etc. etc. ad nauseum
The following are original songs - but deserve a Hash version!
As I was a-goin' over Gilgarra Mountain
I spied Colonel Farrell, and his money he was countin'.
First I drew my pistols and then I drew my rapier,
Sayin' "Stand and deliver, for I am your bold receiver."
Chorus:
Musha ringum duram da,
Whack fol the daddy-o,
Whack fol the daddy-o,
There's whiskey in the jar.
He counted out his money and it made a pretty penny;
I put it in my pocket to take home to darlin' Jenny.
She sighed and swore she loved me and never would deceive me,
Bu the devil take the women, for they always lie so easy!
Musha rungum duram da etc.
I went into me chamber all for to take a slumber,
To dream of gold and girls, and of course it was no wonder:
Me Jenny took me charges and she filled them up with water,
Called on Colonel Farrell to get ready for the slaughter.
Musha rungum duram da etc.
Next mornin' early, before I rose for travel,
A-came a band of footmen and likewise Colonel Farrell.
I goes to draw my pistol, for she'd stole away my rapier,
But a prisoner I was taken, I couldn't shoot the water.
Musha rungum duram da etc.
They put me into jail with a judge all a-writin':
For robbin' Colonel Farrell on Gilgarra Mountain.
But they didn't take me fists and I knocked the jailer down
And bid a farewell to this tight-fisted town.
Musha ringum duram da etc.
I'd like to find me brother, the one who's in the army;
I don't know where he's stationed, be it Cork or in Killarney.
Together we'd go roamin' o'er the mountains of Kilkenny,
And I swear he'd treat me fairer than my darlin' sportin' Jenny!
Musha ringum duram da …
There's some takes delight in the carriages and rollin',
Some takes delight in the hurley or the bollin',
But I takes delight in the juice of the barley,
Courtin' pretty maids in the mornin', o so early!
Musha ringum duram da …
Over hillways up and down
Myrtle green and bracken brown,
Past the sheilings through the town
All for sake of Mairi.
Chorus:
Step we gaily, on we go
Heel for heel and toe for toe,
Arm in arm and row on row
All for Mairi's wedding.
Red her cheeks as rowans are
Bright her eyes as any star,
Fairest o' them all by far
Is our darlin' Mairi.
Chorus:
Plenty herring, plenty meal
Plenty peat to fill her creel,
Plenty bonny bairns as weel
That's the toast for Mairi.
Chorus:
There is a tavern in the town, in the town,
And there my dear love sits him down, sits him down,
And drinks his wine 'mid laughter free,
And never, never thinks of me.
Chorus:
Fare thee well, for I must leave thee,
Do not let the parting grieve thee,
And remember that the best of friends must part, must part
Adieu, adieu, kind friends adieu, adieu, adieu,
I can no longer stay with you, stay with you,
I'll hang my harp on a weeping willow tree,
And may the world go well with thee.
He left me for a damsel dark, damsel dark,
Each Friday night they used to spark, used to spark,
And now my love once true to me,
Takes that dark damsel on his knee.
Chorus:
Oh! dig my grave both wide and deep, wide and deep,
Put tombstones at my head and feet, head and feet,
And on my breast carve a turtle dove,
To signify I died of love.
Chorus:
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